Timothy j. Batty
timisbatty:

Fuck your standards - ‘14

somehow i lost three followers after this appeared…not like they will be missed…

timisbatty:

Fuck your standards - ‘14

somehow i lost three followers after this appeared…not like they will be missed…

With a victim of a purple people eater in the setting, Mister peanut would not last the evening as the area was rife with purple people eaters moments after.

With a victim of a purple people eater in the setting, Mister peanut would not last the evening as the area was rife with purple people eaters moments after.

Sad Poo - ‘13

Sad Poo - ‘13

It Happened on the internet!

Today i educated a youth on Old School Fallout, and at the same time what a ball-gag is… 

Hello I am Tim Batty, and i am here to warn you of the dangers of spotted dick. ten out of five English persons have had spotted dick in their mouths. There is an epidemic a spotted dick epidemic.For just a few dollars you too can help.
Spotted Dick PSA - Tim Batty

Cat in a sack

Like a Drunk hobo walking down the street, you just think they are going to knock over all the trash cans. but they do not….Like a stinky ballerina.
Reverend Tim Batty
One pipe is great, Three is awesome.

One pipe is great, Three is awesome.

You Can’t Kill me, i am already dead tomorrow.
Borderlands 2
Draw me like one of your French kitties.

Draw me like one of your French kitties.

God put dinosaur bones on the planet, so paleontologists have some thing to do.
Shit my creationist ex says.
I pledge allegiance to master Norquist and his holy piece of paper,
To cut all aid to lower second class citizens, because they are merely tools only worth their vote. I swear to obstruct anything my opponent does, and then blame him for what they have not done. i swear to abuse my power and misrepresent the populace entirely. May anglo-saxon white american jesus bless the job creators and nobody else. amen. -
The GoP Pledge

Hey! Do you know what you are?
You’re an asshole! An ASSHOLE!

Some of you might not agree
‘Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see…
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, ‘cause you’re an asshole…

Maybe you think you’re a lonely guy
Maybe you think you’re too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name…
One Two Three Four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Let’s talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar’s back in town
In a way you can’t explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic Hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town’s finest…
But you forgot what I was sayin’
‘Cause you’re an asshole, You’re an asshole
That’s right
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
Yes, yes
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
That’s right
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole

Now you been to The Grape ‘n’ you been to The Chest
‘N’ now I think you know what you are: you’re an asshole

You say you can’t live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain’t got one on the bottom of you,
But don’t fool yerself girl
It’s lookin’ at you
Don’t fool yerself girl
It’s winkin’ at you
Don’t fool yerself girl
It’s blinkin’ at you
That’s why I say
I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute


Aw, I knew you’d be surprised…

Frank Zappa- Broken hearts are for assholes
Some species have ironic sex lives
Pope Meyer III